Why do I feel so depressed?

You pretty much answered your own question, however the feelings of suicide are scary. It is normal to feel sad when you're pregnant, more emotional, sometimes crying for nothing. It goes with pregnancy. I believe it's called post par tum blues ? I had 6 kids and always had those blues, but when the vitamins kick in you should feel better emotionally. Make sure you tell your doctor how you're feeling. I hope you get better. You deserve some happiness and you have a great husband. One thing you can do is think about all the problems others have and then you can actually see you're not that bad off. I used to do that when I felt down or feeling sorry for myself and it would work. After the baby comes you'll have your companion that will fill in the empty spaces, by enjoying your baby, so see ? You have that to look forward to. Keep your chin up, it will get better.